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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Bad Dr. Sketchy's: Two in a Row


Dr. Sketchy's has been bad lately. See the picture above? Does it appear to be the ugliest lady in the world? It's not. It's a man. And that is the problem with drawing men who like to dress as women. When you draw them, they just look like ugly women. Now in person, drags can be interesting- but only because you've got the whole package (no pun intended)- the burley walk, the shockingly deep voice, the conspicuous adams apple that dips as they swallow, and the snickers and chuckles from those around who think they can't be heard. But on paper, all that doesn't translate. The "kids coloring contest" label was my own cynical joke... but for some reason, I was the only one who laughed at it. Feel free to print it out for your childrens' enjoyment!

Oh well, there's always next month, right? Wrong. Next month was just as bad. We had a "gothic lolita", which, from the description, sounded pretty interesting- nauseatingly cute, doll-like features, over-the-top gaudy outfits, etc. But "interesting" was quite the opposite. Lolitas are like dolls, and dolls have no personality. Dolls stare blankly and pose stiffly. Not fun. It would have been just as fun to draw one of the not-fun dolls sitting around my own house... like Miss. Heart, who recently had an unfortunate run-in with an outdoor predator, leaving her fingerless. We hadn't even noticed that she had been missing (when you live the kind of sinister lifestyle that she does, people don't notice when you're gone). When the snow began to melt at the end of the spring, we noticed an arm emerging from the ice in our back yard. As we unearthed her, we discovered her face down wearing nothing but Hello Kitty panties- and her fingers were long gone. There's no telling who might have done this, but you have to admit, that she had it coming.

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